A little late...

A little late is better than never...right?

So sunday was Hubby and I's first anniversary. If nothing else, that day reminded me why I married this dear man in the first place. Love him.

I should have known last month when we realized that there was a chance we could have our "miracle baby"...that there really was no chance in h*ll. (Back story...I ovulated on Hubby's birthday; which also happened to be the first day of our long awaited anniversary/end of grad school/last hoorah cruise. After doing some quick math, we realized that if infact we did get pregnant with said miracle baby, that I'd be able to POAS on our 1st anniversary! How perfect is that!? Too perfect apparently.)


Back to Sunday... after a wonderful Saturday BBQ with family and friends, I woke to horrendous cramps and the knowledge that this, in fact, would not be the perfect 1st anniversary that we'd hoped for. Thankfully Hubby has become a pro at getting me meds, heating pads and whatever carbs I'm craving at the moment.


After a lazy morning we decided to walk to the fair going on just down the street. Nachos, meatball subs and fried dough was just what the doctor would order for such a day. After lounging around the house in the afternoon, we got an unexpected (but very welcomed) visit from my Mom and lil sis. They came armed with an anniversary gift card for dinner out (woo hoo!) and a big hug (when Mom saw the classic "why don't men go through this?" face). After eating dinner at one of our fav restaurants, we headed back to the fair to watch the fireworks.


Why is this boring day so important? What did I learn about my Hubby? Well, as anybody going through IF knows, IF thoughts/worries NEVER leave your mind. (Even when you genuinely try to make it go away. For instance, when you really should be concentrating on the fact they you survived/enjoyed your first year as a married couple.) This was the case for me on Sunday. After battling the urge for weeks (ok, maybe months) I decided that today would be the perfect day to take a trip to the bookstore and buy our first IF book. Though I'm sure this was the last thing Hubby wanted to do, he made no stink about it and off we went.


For those that have/are dealing with IF...I'm sure you'll all understand what a big step this is. Not because you're "finally admitting it to yourself". Puh-lease! You did that the minute you called your OB frantically asking for tests! Nope - this was probably the first time you had to actually say the word "infertility" out loud, in a public -yet quiet- place. Why? Because shockingly, there is no IF section of Barnes and Noble. Nope. After wandering around aimlessly for a good 10 minutes, Hubby says to me, "You might want to go ask where they are." Hmm...interesting how he didn't offer to go ask.

So off I went to the information desk. Standing there waiting I was uniquely aware of the fact that though I am not ashamed of our IF, I wasn't sure I wanted to start broadcasting it. I became almost hysterical though, when the 16 year old (ok, maybe she was 18) girl at the computer asked me to spell "infertility". (Really?? Someone "up there" was having a good time with me.) After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, she turns the screen (yes, she actually moved the computer screen as to not say the title out loud) to show me the search results. One book. One. Really? (Ok, now they're really having a good time with me up there.) I proceeded to buy the book (I'll be returning it this evening and relying on the suggestions of my new "bumpie girls") and laugh my way out of the store.


My evening ended with Hubby and I laying in bed - he watching some sports recap and me diving into our first IF book. Is this the way I saw us spending our 1st anniversary? Ha. No way. But I realized that though our life may not be perfect, I found my perfect partner for this crazy life we are embarking on. I went to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in weeks.